I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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