I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize