Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
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I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
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I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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