It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I am available for nakedness
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize