you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize