I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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