im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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