Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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