I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
