Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
