What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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