I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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