had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
