PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm passing your future prison.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
