i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Drunk is not a location!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
