u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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