i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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