Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
