Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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