So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
