i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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