I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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