508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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