Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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