he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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