you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize