Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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