I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
