I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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