haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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