Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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