I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
