My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
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i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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