even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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