come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
