Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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