P.S. I can't hear my feet
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
