margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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