i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
