dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
