So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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