Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
