So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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