I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize