Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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