Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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