But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
