Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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