xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
