Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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