I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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