Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
