Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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