You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
