So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
