does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
