you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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