apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
