dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
