it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
