I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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