You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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