I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
