if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
