If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
